The Gift of Marriage!
1 Corinthians 7:7
"…everybody has his own particular gifts from God, one with a gift for one thing and another with a gift for the opposite."
When Paul the Apostle wrote these words, their context was the gift of marriage, which clearly indicates that being single is also a gift from God, and should not be looked upon as a shortcoming, as many of today's unenlightened cultures do.
Each of us in Christ knows in our heart of hearts what we have been called to accomplish within God's will, what it is He has prepared for us in order to make us happy, fulfilled and harmonically connected to His Master plan for the saving of mankind.
1 Corinthians 7:32
"I would like to see you free from worry. An unmarried man can devote himself to the Lord's affairs, all he need worry about is pleasing the Lord; but a married man has to bother about the world's affairs and devote himself to pleasing his wife; he is torn two ways."
When God inspires a Christian man and woman to unite in the ministry of marriage, His purpose and plan for the two are according to the mind of Christ, and no power in creation can spiritually separate them unless and until our Father in heaven sees fit to do so. Only God holds the power to terminate a marriage for the reasons only His will and Word dictate.
Mark 10:9
"…what God has united, man must not divide." (Jesus Christ)
Matthew 22:30
"For at the resurrection men and women do not marry; no, they are like the angels in heaven." (Jesus Christ)
It is critically imperative we understand the Law of Christ concerning the covenant which exists between the married, for without the knowledge of God's will concerning this lifelong institution we cannot move righteously should the time come to make the commitment, let alone end it.
The Apostle Paul is very specific about this where pre-existing marriages are concerned and a spouse is called by God but cannot convince his or her partner to convert also.
1 Corinthians 7:15, 16
"…if the unbelieving partner does not consent, they may separate; in these circumstances, the brother or sister is not tied: God has called you to a life of peace. If you are a wife, it may be your part to save your husband, for all you know; if a husband, for all you know, it may be your part to save your wife."
1 Corinthians 11:11
"…woman cannot do without man; neither can man do without woman in the Lord."
Genesis 2:18, 24
"Yahweh God said, 'It is not good that a man should be alone. I will make him a helpmate.' (24) This is why a man leaves his father and mother and joins himself to his wife, and they become one body."
Why Marry?
This brings us to the issue of justification. Let us consider the initial contact of the marriage minded and the motivational chemistries involved. When a Christian man and woman contemplate lifetime exclusivity, they do so for one of two reasons. When the motives are pure, their fantasies and prayer imaginings will be inspired by a need to express their love for the other on all levels of life. If not, the desire will be motivated only by a need to fulfill the baser-to-worldly urges and conveniences the flesh and the ego seek to take pleasure in.
Matthew 5:28
"But I say this to you: if a man looks at a woman lustfully, he has already committed adultery with her in his heart." (Jesus Christ)
1 Samuel 16:7
"…God does not see as man sees; man looks at appearances, but Yahweh looks at the heart."
Motive
The corporeal eye only wants one thing: to be outer-sensually stimulated through intimate, physical contact. On the other hand, the God-eye, the true god-self, primarily concerns itself with the establishing of Holy Spiritual communion, expression, affection, respect and love between spouses. If the basis of a marriage is built on anything other than these intentions, all that upholds its legitimacy is the law that made it so.
Titus 3:1
"You must obey the governing authorities. Since all government comes from God, the civil authorities were appointed by God, and so anyone who resists authority is rebelling against God's decision, and such an act is bound to be punished."
Though God respects and demands that we obey that law of the land, He also expects the wife and husband to grow in the knowledge of His love in order that they eventually become attuned to His criterion for what a righteous marriage should reflect.
A Christ-centered marriage is a spiritual union, not a bond of the flesh, or any arrangement predetermined by flesh families, or worldly convenience. And never assume that, just because two non-believers are living together under the guise of ceremonial hoopla, they are righteously married in the eyes of God.
The couple in question may be made one by the conjugal act, but unless the marriage is inspired and sanctioned by His Holy Spirit and Law, any sexual activity between them is tainted, if not abominable in the eyes of God. As scripture says, "What God has joined together, let no man separate...God is love…God is Spirit."
John 4:15
"'Sir,' said the woman, 'give me some of that water, so that I may never get thirsty and never have to come here again to draw water.' 'Go and call your husband,' said Jesus to her, 'and come back here.' The woman answered, 'I have no husband.' He said to her, 'you are right to say, "I have no husband"; for although you have had five, the one you have now is not your husband. You spoke the truth there'."
1 Corinthians 7:27
"If you are tied to a wife, do not look for freedom; if you are free of a wife, then do not look for one. But if you marry, it is no sin, and it is not a sin for a young girl to get married. They will have their troubled though, in their married life, and I should like to spare you that."
Christianly Speaking
The act of making love to one's spouse is, in itself, not sinful, for the marriage bed is sacred to God. The joining of a man and a woman in sexual intercourse is one of the most intimate and dynamic of all love-inspired unions. It brings together two souls and gives them the gift, privilege and pleasure of total physical and spiritual affection, wherein the love of God is king, and sexuality is but a behavioral expression of that love, not the other way around. In essence, the experience of making God-sanctioned love is perfect and holy, manifesting both the purest intentions of man and the spiritual gift blessings of God.
Matthew 6:22
"The lamp of the body is the eye. It follows that if your eye is sound, your whole body will be filled with light." (Jesus Christ)
Titus 1:15
"To all who are pure themselves, everything is pure; but to those who have been corrupted and lack faith, nothing can be pure- the corruption is both in their minds and in their consciences."
1 Corinthians 16:13, 14
"Be awake to all the dangers; stay firm in the faith; be brave and be strong. Let everything you do be done in love."
The definition of lust: sexual desire; a strong sensual craving- motivated by the flesh; a strong physical appetite or desire.
The lustful eye is never satisfied, and its motto is 'Too much is not enough.'
2 Corinthians 6:14, 15
"Do not harness yourselves in an uneven team with unbelievers. Virtue is no companion for crime. Light and darkness have nothing in common. Christ is not the ally of Beliar, nor has a believer have anything to share with an unbeliever."
Romantically Speaking
The loving eye, on the other hand, needs whatever it needs in accordance with the will of God, and has the patience to wait for whatever it is that God has preordained if, in fact, that man or woman is destined for the ministry of marriage. The loving eye searches the conscience for what it longs for, and doesn't go for it until God's green light is given. The loving eye's motto is: "Be still and wait for the Lord to act." For love answers all behavior with the blessing of perfect physical/spiritual communion and consummation.
John 15:17
"What I command you is to love one another." (Jesus Christ)
1 Corinthians 14:1
"You must want love more than anything else…"
Don't misunderstand, the Lord is not telling us to purge ourselves of an appreciation of the human form. After all, we are made in His image and likeness, and each of us is given the freedom of preference when it comes to admiring and praying for a particular face and figure in our future partners.
Ecclesiastes 26:17, 18
"Like the lamp shining on the sacred lamp stand is a beautiful face on a well proportioned body. Like golden pillars on a silver base are shapely legs and firm-set heels."
Proverbs 5:19
"Find joy with the wife you married in your youth, fair as a hind, graceful as a fawn. Let hers be the company you keep, hers the breasts that ever fill you with delight, hers the love that ever holds you captive."
Solomon's Song of Songs also punches up this aspect by focusing on physical attributes. What this tells us is that there is nothing wrong with being attracted to someone's figure, beauty or handsomeness. What is wrong is if it is the only or predominant reason a man and women decide to marry.
In fact, it is also possible that God, in His all-knowing wisdom, may plant a vision in our inner awareness of who our future wife or husband will look like; a vision that might even haunt us in that we will find anyone who does not resemble them undesirable, unattractive, even repulsive.
Philippians 2:13
"It is God, for his own loving purpose, who puts both the will and the action into you."
Eye of the Beholder
For a Christian, personal taste is relative to the mission God has given each of us to perform. For instance, if a man has a thing for blond hair and brown eyes in a woman, he will gravitate towards that combination when socializing. If a woman is attracted to men who are slightly shorter than she is, that preference will give that physical type an edge when the time comes to weed through everyone else who is attracted to her.
Different Strokes for Different Folks
Then there are the myriad of ways each of us prefers to express his or her sexuality to consider. Seeking after someone who perfectly compliments that preference could also be key to finding the one God has chosen for us; the one with whom we can both physically and spiritually harmonize.
God knows what we need even before we ask Him for it and He will do whatever it takes to supply that need in order that His will and our happiness are fulfilled and satisfied as perfectly as possible.
Then there is the single Christian who cannot control his or her sexual urges. In such cases, scripture allows them to marry, for "…it is better to be married than to be tortured." (1 Corinthians 7:9) Is God merciful, or what? He is actually telling us it's OK to marry for the wrong reason rather than suffer the consequences of a frustrating, lust-driven, sinful lifestyle.
But with His mercy comes wisdom.
1 Corinthians 7:16
"If you are a wife, it may be your part to save your husband, for all you know; if a husband, for all you know, it may be your part to save your wife."
In cases such as these it is imperative the couple double their efforts towards developing a Christ-centered marriage in order that their outside-in motivation is turned around through spiritually fruitful intimacy and fellowship, not only between themselves but with the Holy Spirit.
When Paul wrote, "…it is better to be married than to be tortured." He was speaking to believers, for he knew God's laws governing marriage, otherwise he would not have also written, "…nor has a believer have anything to share with an unbeliever."
It's Complicated
Regardless of where a Christian is at when they are moved, either by the Spirit or the flesh to marry, one thing should always be kept in mind. Physical intimacy between a Christian male and female is a mystical occupation, fraught with interpersonal overtone. We are all unique, therefore, so are the relationships which exist between us.
The dynamics of God's will take into account every aspect, right down to the tiniest detail of who we are and what we need when the time comes to either marry or decide to remain single. This is why it is crucial we keep our inner eye focused on God's wisdom at all times. For all we know, the months and years couples spend engaged may ultimately be set aside by God as a period of education whereby their love for each other brings them closer to God.
In the process, they discover things about themselves they never knew before, such as what true, spiritual love is, or is not. This mystical union will eventually lead to the commitment of marriage or spin them off in directions they would never have dreamed existed had they not gotten engaged in the first place.
In essence, their engagement might have served as a form of one-on-one fellowship where through God used their mutual love and attraction as the starting point of a journey to personal growth and self-realization unbeknownst to them before they met and fell in love. Is not marriage a platform upon which to do the same, only in a more intensely intimate, prolonged fashion?
Proverbs 18:22
"Who finds a wife finds happiness, receiving a mark of favor from Yahweh."
Libido-wise
The fine tuning of one's destiny in Christ can be a very delicate discipline where the sexual urges are concerned. Add to this the often disruptive influences of emotional and psychological eccentricity, and the mission to find one's one-and-only presents an even greater challenge to the faith and personal determination of those involved.
But God, in His infinite wisdom, knows us better than we know ourselves. He knows every nook and cranny of our deepest selves, and always does whatever has to be done in order that we find our happiness and fulfillment within His will and love.
Babies
Add to this complex mix of emotional, spiritual and physical attraction the couple who marries primarily to raise a family, and the dynamics of their relationship take on a whole other complexion. "Be fruitful and multiply," said God to Noah in Genesis 9:7, for it was time for a new Covenant between man and God, one that specifically told Noah to repopulate the earth after the great flood wiped it clean of its ungodly inhabitants.
However, through first Corinthians 7:32, God obviously prefers that we stay single in order that we can devote more time and energy to accomplishing the great commission Jesus gave us through Mark 16:16. "Go out to the whole world; proclaim the Good News to all creation."
Does this mean we are not to have children so that we are better able and equipped to help God save unbelievers and their children? Since Jesus, by His own, quintessential example, did not marry, would it not be safe to assume that, while there is nothing wrong with getting married, God would prefer we didn't bring more souls into the world?
Again, this is why it is critical that those blessed with the gift of marriage be prayerful, asking God for wisdom at all times when considering the options available to them where the ministering of God's will is concerned.
Jesus said very little about this issue, but what he did say adds much in the way of food for thought where the married and marriage minded are concerned.
Matthew 19:4
"Have you not read that the creator from the beginning made them male and female and that he said: This is why a man must leave his father and mother, and cling to his wife, and the two become one body? They are no longer two, therefore, but one body. So then, what God has united, man must not divide." (Jesus Christ)
Matthew 24:37
"As it was in Noah's day, so will it be when the Son of man comes. For in those days before the flood people were eating, drinking, taking wives, taking husbands, right up to the day Noah went into the ark, and they suspected nothing till the floods came and swept them away." (Jesus Christ)
Luke 23:29
"For the days will surely come when people will say, "Happy are those who are barren, the wombs that have never borne, the breasts that have never suckled!" (Jesus Christ)
1 Timothy 2:15
"Nevertheless, she will be saved by childbearing, provided she leads a modest life and is constant in faith and love and holiness."
Look Before Leaping
As traditions go, the ins and outs concerning the gift of marriage have never been easily untangled, for they encompasses aspects of our being that are so personal, so unique to each individual that only God can truly and righteously set in motion the events and circumstances that lead us to the ultimate consummation of our Christ-centered heart's desire.
Even Paul the Apostle, when writing on these complex considerations, found it difficult to universally nail them down. On occasion, he wrote, "This is from me and not the Lord," and "This is a suggestion, not a rule…" in order that certain aspects of engagement could be ironed out in ways that indicate there are few absolutes where Christian marriages, or the contemplating thereof are concerned.
In a sense, Paul went out on a doctrinal limb for us in order to resolve certain issues in a way that suggests there is more going on here than meets the legal eye. This tells us much about how specific personal motivation and destiny can be when two people set out to contemplate their possible futures as man and wife.
In a Nutshell
In the eyes of God, a righteous marriage is between a male and a female believer, is Christ-centered, and based on mutual love and a lifetime commitment that both partners truly believe to be the will of God.
The Greek language coined 4 words to describe love. Eros- physical love; philia- soul love, as in soul mate; storgee- parental love, and agape- divine love. The perfect marriage is built on all four of these love aspects, which are almost always found and nurtured in a Christ-centered, romantic relationship.
Bottom Line
Always pray that scripture and the Holy Spirit will speak to your heart when pondering this facet of Christian life, for there is an answer to all questions through the mind of Christ concerning intimate relationships and marriage. The seventh chapter of first Corinthians does much to answer these questions, but, ultimately, it is God unto whom we must turn when considering the conveniences, responsibilities, pleasures and consequences of our married or single futures.
~ John Christopher
1 Corinthians 7:7
"…everybody has his own particular gifts from God, one with a gift for one thing and another with a gift for the opposite."
When Paul the Apostle wrote these words, their context was the gift of marriage, which clearly indicates that being single is also a gift from God, and should not be looked upon as a shortcoming, as many of today's unenlightened cultures do.
Each of us in Christ knows in our heart of hearts what we have been called to accomplish within God's will, what it is He has prepared for us in order to make us happy, fulfilled and harmonically connected to His Master plan for the saving of mankind.
1 Corinthians 7:32
"I would like to see you free from worry. An unmarried man can devote himself to the Lord's affairs, all he need worry about is pleasing the Lord; but a married man has to bother about the world's affairs and devote himself to pleasing his wife; he is torn two ways."
When God inspires a Christian man and woman to unite in the ministry of marriage, His purpose and plan for the two are according to the mind of Christ, and no power in creation can spiritually separate them unless and until our Father in heaven sees fit to do so. Only God holds the power to terminate a marriage for the reasons only His will and Word dictate.
Mark 10:9
"…what God has united, man must not divide." (Jesus Christ)
Matthew 22:30
"For at the resurrection men and women do not marry; no, they are like the angels in heaven." (Jesus Christ)
It is critically imperative we understand the Law of Christ concerning the covenant which exists between the married, for without the knowledge of God's will concerning this lifelong institution we cannot move righteously should the time come to make the commitment, let alone end it.
The Apostle Paul is very specific about this where pre-existing marriages are concerned and a spouse is called by God but cannot convince his or her partner to convert also.
1 Corinthians 7:15, 16
"…if the unbelieving partner does not consent, they may separate; in these circumstances, the brother or sister is not tied: God has called you to a life of peace. If you are a wife, it may be your part to save your husband, for all you know; if a husband, for all you know, it may be your part to save your wife."
1 Corinthians 11:11
"…woman cannot do without man; neither can man do without woman in the Lord."
Genesis 2:18, 24
"Yahweh God said, 'It is not good that a man should be alone. I will make him a helpmate.' (24) This is why a man leaves his father and mother and joins himself to his wife, and they become one body."
Why Marry?
This brings us to the issue of justification. Let us consider the initial contact of the marriage minded and the motivational chemistries involved. When a Christian man and woman contemplate lifetime exclusivity, they do so for one of two reasons. When the motives are pure, their fantasies and prayer imaginings will be inspired by a need to express their love for the other on all levels of life. If not, the desire will be motivated only by a need to fulfill the baser-to-worldly urges and conveniences the flesh and the ego seek to take pleasure in.
Matthew 5:28
"But I say this to you: if a man looks at a woman lustfully, he has already committed adultery with her in his heart." (Jesus Christ)
1 Samuel 16:7
"…God does not see as man sees; man looks at appearances, but Yahweh looks at the heart."
Motive
The corporeal eye only wants one thing: to be outer-sensually stimulated through intimate, physical contact. On the other hand, the God-eye, the true god-self, primarily concerns itself with the establishing of Holy Spiritual communion, expression, affection, respect and love between spouses. If the basis of a marriage is built on anything other than these intentions, all that upholds its legitimacy is the law that made it so.
Titus 3:1
"You must obey the governing authorities. Since all government comes from God, the civil authorities were appointed by God, and so anyone who resists authority is rebelling against God's decision, and such an act is bound to be punished."
Though God respects and demands that we obey that law of the land, He also expects the wife and husband to grow in the knowledge of His love in order that they eventually become attuned to His criterion for what a righteous marriage should reflect.
A Christ-centered marriage is a spiritual union, not a bond of the flesh, or any arrangement predetermined by flesh families, or worldly convenience. And never assume that, just because two non-believers are living together under the guise of ceremonial hoopla, they are righteously married in the eyes of God.
The couple in question may be made one by the conjugal act, but unless the marriage is inspired and sanctioned by His Holy Spirit and Law, any sexual activity between them is tainted, if not abominable in the eyes of God. As scripture says, "What God has joined together, let no man separate...God is love…God is Spirit."
John 4:15
"'Sir,' said the woman, 'give me some of that water, so that I may never get thirsty and never have to come here again to draw water.' 'Go and call your husband,' said Jesus to her, 'and come back here.' The woman answered, 'I have no husband.' He said to her, 'you are right to say, "I have no husband"; for although you have had five, the one you have now is not your husband. You spoke the truth there'."
1 Corinthians 7:27
"If you are tied to a wife, do not look for freedom; if you are free of a wife, then do not look for one. But if you marry, it is no sin, and it is not a sin for a young girl to get married. They will have their troubled though, in their married life, and I should like to spare you that."
Christianly Speaking
The act of making love to one's spouse is, in itself, not sinful, for the marriage bed is sacred to God. The joining of a man and a woman in sexual intercourse is one of the most intimate and dynamic of all love-inspired unions. It brings together two souls and gives them the gift, privilege and pleasure of total physical and spiritual affection, wherein the love of God is king, and sexuality is but a behavioral expression of that love, not the other way around. In essence, the experience of making God-sanctioned love is perfect and holy, manifesting both the purest intentions of man and the spiritual gift blessings of God.
Matthew 6:22
"The lamp of the body is the eye. It follows that if your eye is sound, your whole body will be filled with light." (Jesus Christ)
Titus 1:15
"To all who are pure themselves, everything is pure; but to those who have been corrupted and lack faith, nothing can be pure- the corruption is both in their minds and in their consciences."
1 Corinthians 16:13, 14
"Be awake to all the dangers; stay firm in the faith; be brave and be strong. Let everything you do be done in love."
The definition of lust: sexual desire; a strong sensual craving- motivated by the flesh; a strong physical appetite or desire.
The lustful eye is never satisfied, and its motto is 'Too much is not enough.'
2 Corinthians 6:14, 15
"Do not harness yourselves in an uneven team with unbelievers. Virtue is no companion for crime. Light and darkness have nothing in common. Christ is not the ally of Beliar, nor has a believer have anything to share with an unbeliever."
Romantically Speaking
The loving eye, on the other hand, needs whatever it needs in accordance with the will of God, and has the patience to wait for whatever it is that God has preordained if, in fact, that man or woman is destined for the ministry of marriage. The loving eye searches the conscience for what it longs for, and doesn't go for it until God's green light is given. The loving eye's motto is: "Be still and wait for the Lord to act." For love answers all behavior with the blessing of perfect physical/spiritual communion and consummation.
John 15:17
"What I command you is to love one another." (Jesus Christ)
1 Corinthians 14:1
"You must want love more than anything else…"
Don't misunderstand, the Lord is not telling us to purge ourselves of an appreciation of the human form. After all, we are made in His image and likeness, and each of us is given the freedom of preference when it comes to admiring and praying for a particular face and figure in our future partners.
Ecclesiastes 26:17, 18
"Like the lamp shining on the sacred lamp stand is a beautiful face on a well proportioned body. Like golden pillars on a silver base are shapely legs and firm-set heels."
Proverbs 5:19
"Find joy with the wife you married in your youth, fair as a hind, graceful as a fawn. Let hers be the company you keep, hers the breasts that ever fill you with delight, hers the love that ever holds you captive."
Solomon's Song of Songs also punches up this aspect by focusing on physical attributes. What this tells us is that there is nothing wrong with being attracted to someone's figure, beauty or handsomeness. What is wrong is if it is the only or predominant reason a man and women decide to marry.
In fact, it is also possible that God, in His all-knowing wisdom, may plant a vision in our inner awareness of who our future wife or husband will look like; a vision that might even haunt us in that we will find anyone who does not resemble them undesirable, unattractive, even repulsive.
Philippians 2:13
"It is God, for his own loving purpose, who puts both the will and the action into you."
Eye of the Beholder
For a Christian, personal taste is relative to the mission God has given each of us to perform. For instance, if a man has a thing for blond hair and brown eyes in a woman, he will gravitate towards that combination when socializing. If a woman is attracted to men who are slightly shorter than she is, that preference will give that physical type an edge when the time comes to weed through everyone else who is attracted to her.
Different Strokes for Different Folks
Then there are the myriad of ways each of us prefers to express his or her sexuality to consider. Seeking after someone who perfectly compliments that preference could also be key to finding the one God has chosen for us; the one with whom we can both physically and spiritually harmonize.
God knows what we need even before we ask Him for it and He will do whatever it takes to supply that need in order that His will and our happiness are fulfilled and satisfied as perfectly as possible.
Then there is the single Christian who cannot control his or her sexual urges. In such cases, scripture allows them to marry, for "…it is better to be married than to be tortured." (1 Corinthians 7:9) Is God merciful, or what? He is actually telling us it's OK to marry for the wrong reason rather than suffer the consequences of a frustrating, lust-driven, sinful lifestyle.
But with His mercy comes wisdom.
1 Corinthians 7:16
"If you are a wife, it may be your part to save your husband, for all you know; if a husband, for all you know, it may be your part to save your wife."
In cases such as these it is imperative the couple double their efforts towards developing a Christ-centered marriage in order that their outside-in motivation is turned around through spiritually fruitful intimacy and fellowship, not only between themselves but with the Holy Spirit.
When Paul wrote, "…it is better to be married than to be tortured." He was speaking to believers, for he knew God's laws governing marriage, otherwise he would not have also written, "…nor has a believer have anything to share with an unbeliever."
It's Complicated
Regardless of where a Christian is at when they are moved, either by the Spirit or the flesh to marry, one thing should always be kept in mind. Physical intimacy between a Christian male and female is a mystical occupation, fraught with interpersonal overtone. We are all unique, therefore, so are the relationships which exist between us.
The dynamics of God's will take into account every aspect, right down to the tiniest detail of who we are and what we need when the time comes to either marry or decide to remain single. This is why it is crucial we keep our inner eye focused on God's wisdom at all times. For all we know, the months and years couples spend engaged may ultimately be set aside by God as a period of education whereby their love for each other brings them closer to God.
In the process, they discover things about themselves they never knew before, such as what true, spiritual love is, or is not. This mystical union will eventually lead to the commitment of marriage or spin them off in directions they would never have dreamed existed had they not gotten engaged in the first place.
In essence, their engagement might have served as a form of one-on-one fellowship where through God used their mutual love and attraction as the starting point of a journey to personal growth and self-realization unbeknownst to them before they met and fell in love. Is not marriage a platform upon which to do the same, only in a more intensely intimate, prolonged fashion?
Proverbs 18:22
"Who finds a wife finds happiness, receiving a mark of favor from Yahweh."
Libido-wise
The fine tuning of one's destiny in Christ can be a very delicate discipline where the sexual urges are concerned. Add to this the often disruptive influences of emotional and psychological eccentricity, and the mission to find one's one-and-only presents an even greater challenge to the faith and personal determination of those involved.
But God, in His infinite wisdom, knows us better than we know ourselves. He knows every nook and cranny of our deepest selves, and always does whatever has to be done in order that we find our happiness and fulfillment within His will and love.
Babies
Add to this complex mix of emotional, spiritual and physical attraction the couple who marries primarily to raise a family, and the dynamics of their relationship take on a whole other complexion. "Be fruitful and multiply," said God to Noah in Genesis 9:7, for it was time for a new Covenant between man and God, one that specifically told Noah to repopulate the earth after the great flood wiped it clean of its ungodly inhabitants.
However, through first Corinthians 7:32, God obviously prefers that we stay single in order that we can devote more time and energy to accomplishing the great commission Jesus gave us through Mark 16:16. "Go out to the whole world; proclaim the Good News to all creation."
Does this mean we are not to have children so that we are better able and equipped to help God save unbelievers and their children? Since Jesus, by His own, quintessential example, did not marry, would it not be safe to assume that, while there is nothing wrong with getting married, God would prefer we didn't bring more souls into the world?
Again, this is why it is critical that those blessed with the gift of marriage be prayerful, asking God for wisdom at all times when considering the options available to them where the ministering of God's will is concerned.
Jesus said very little about this issue, but what he did say adds much in the way of food for thought where the married and marriage minded are concerned.
Matthew 19:4
"Have you not read that the creator from the beginning made them male and female and that he said: This is why a man must leave his father and mother, and cling to his wife, and the two become one body? They are no longer two, therefore, but one body. So then, what God has united, man must not divide." (Jesus Christ)
Matthew 24:37
"As it was in Noah's day, so will it be when the Son of man comes. For in those days before the flood people were eating, drinking, taking wives, taking husbands, right up to the day Noah went into the ark, and they suspected nothing till the floods came and swept them away." (Jesus Christ)
Luke 23:29
"For the days will surely come when people will say, "Happy are those who are barren, the wombs that have never borne, the breasts that have never suckled!" (Jesus Christ)
1 Timothy 2:15
"Nevertheless, she will be saved by childbearing, provided she leads a modest life and is constant in faith and love and holiness."
Look Before Leaping
As traditions go, the ins and outs concerning the gift of marriage have never been easily untangled, for they encompasses aspects of our being that are so personal, so unique to each individual that only God can truly and righteously set in motion the events and circumstances that lead us to the ultimate consummation of our Christ-centered heart's desire.
Even Paul the Apostle, when writing on these complex considerations, found it difficult to universally nail them down. On occasion, he wrote, "This is from me and not the Lord," and "This is a suggestion, not a rule…" in order that certain aspects of engagement could be ironed out in ways that indicate there are few absolutes where Christian marriages, or the contemplating thereof are concerned.
In a sense, Paul went out on a doctrinal limb for us in order to resolve certain issues in a way that suggests there is more going on here than meets the legal eye. This tells us much about how specific personal motivation and destiny can be when two people set out to contemplate their possible futures as man and wife.
In a Nutshell
In the eyes of God, a righteous marriage is between a male and a female believer, is Christ-centered, and based on mutual love and a lifetime commitment that both partners truly believe to be the will of God.
The Greek language coined 4 words to describe love. Eros- physical love; philia- soul love, as in soul mate; storgee- parental love, and agape- divine love. The perfect marriage is built on all four of these love aspects, which are almost always found and nurtured in a Christ-centered, romantic relationship.
Bottom Line
Always pray that scripture and the Holy Spirit will speak to your heart when pondering this facet of Christian life, for there is an answer to all questions through the mind of Christ concerning intimate relationships and marriage. The seventh chapter of first Corinthians does much to answer these questions, but, ultimately, it is God unto whom we must turn when considering the conveniences, responsibilities, pleasures and consequences of our married or single futures.
~ John Christopher
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